R.I.P. Your Productivity: A Treasure Chest Filled with Shame and Regret

Hello.

Maybe you have noticed that there was no post regular post on Monday (but probably not I imagine. Like, I think someone, or something, would have to remind you it wasn't there). I won't name names as to whose fault it was *cough* Beariffying *cough* but there will be a post on Monday and Wednesday next week so Yay! I'm sure whoever failed to meet the deadline of ONE SINGLE FUCKING BLOG POST EVERY TWO WEEKS is feeling very sorry about what they did, and if they're not, they will be. Oh, they will be.

UGH Aficionado: Carnival

What up, Monsters? I’m Polterjane and I’m here to talk about Carnival. I live in Brazil, and this week was Carnival week.

Brazilian carnival is very famous around the world. I’m sure it’s one of the first things that pops into people’s minds when I say Brazil, along with prostitutes, Gisele Bündchen and caipirinhas.

So in case you aren’t familiar with it (I’m very jealous of you), in a nutshell, it goes like this: A whole week where everything but hospitals and drug stores are shut down so people can jump around on streets while drinking, dancing and fornicating with strangers. It’s great (no, it isn’t)!

They don’t even care if it’s raining. They WANT to get sick on Carnival, if it can’t be an STD it has to be at least pneumonia.

Also something that should be noted: if you live in Brazil, you can’t escape Carnival. If you go out, you will see giant ass trucks and assholes in costumes jumping around to horrible sounding music while people throw condoms and water at them (some people call it parades. I call it conglomeration of assholes and douchebags). If you’re in a car, good luck arriving anywhere when all the streets are closed for said assholes. If you’re in your house, good luck NOT listening to the sounds of people enjoying themselves way too much.

And since it’s basically impossible to escape it, the only other option is to join in. If you like horrible music and ugly people, you have a certain parade you can go to. If you like naked women, alcohol, men being gross and WTF moments, you have everywhere you can go to.