Commercials that Annoy Me - Old Navy Mannequins

Hi, hello, how are you? I realize this is Godsauce's column (please don't sue me I don't even have any money) but he said he wouldn't be doing it past the first one, partially because he "just [hadn't] been watching enough television". I, on the other hand, watch television way too much and have slowly built up incredible amounts of hatred towards commercials over the years. (Does this opening feel a bit passive aggressive to anyone? It's not meant to if it does.) However, there will be a big difference between what I am doing and what he did. While his post was well thought out and featured a commercial that truly deserved to be ridiculed thanks to an almost offensively poor John Lennon impersonator, I will use this as a place to funnel my blind rage of commercials, which, to be completely honest, will be probably pretty unfounded most of the time. Anyways, here it is.

Welcome to the Hater's Guide

One of the greatest.

What up, MOBDF? I’ve wanted to write a column for you guys to laugh at for a while but in all honesty I felt I had nothing to offer. Naturally, this sparked within me an existential crisis. A crisis affecting me so wholly that it led me on a journey in which I sought to rediscover what, if anything, made me great. I spent many weeks alone, far removed from human contact with nothing but rain water for nourishment and I have now returned from the wild reborn as a shining beacon of light in this dark, dark world.

Haters Gonna Hate: Reality Bites edition

I suppose I knew that nominating a movie like Reality Bites would get me called on the carpet, so it seems inevitable that I would be writing a defense of my hatred. Full disclosure: my hatred was born in an association with one of the absolute worst human beings I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing, who held as his personal hero one Troy Dyer, the hobo at the heart of this little cinematic gem. Not that I ever loved the movie, but once I became disgusted with Troy the veil was lifted, and I was able to see the movie for what it really was. And what is it? So glad you asked. Come window-shopping down the avenue of horrors with me, won’t you?