This site does not represent the views of

Bear with us while we get this organized. This site does not represent the views of Send submissions to Send tips to if they are not posted there, wait a while & send them to Take care, Stay Awesome.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Tales From the Chat: Grey Uncomfortable Situations

Unfortunately I can't chat as much as I once did, so I decided to post this question here:

What are some "grey" uncomfortable situations you have found yourself in?

As creatures of choice we either do wrong or we do right.  We find ourselves trying to limit our failures or duplicate our successes. Looking back at our actions we are either proud of something or we are ashamed of it. Sometimes however, we navigate a gray area. And most of the times, this grey area is a lot harder to manage  because we travel paths that are foreign to us. We must not only decide what to do; we must also decide if what we are doing is right or wrong.

Here are some of mine:

Landmark Meeting When I was in my early 20s my family became active in Landmark Education. I could go on and on and on about them, but basically what they are is pop psychology for a price. When my family came to me urging me to go I was skeptical. I was glad that they found it helpful, since they are the kind of people who are too proud to go to a licensed therapist. I on the other hand, had been to a therapist and was very satisfied at where I was in that point in my life. I did some light Internet research and finally gave in; I went on the condition that they never mention it again. When I got there I saw the broadest collection of broken-down people. It was as if someone had taken a random  DMV group and given them non-stop shit until they looked defeated. I sat down and witnessed their presentation, it was a mixture of a church mega-service and an infomercial. 
My first reaction was to blend in and not stand out, so I was friendly with the people around me.  I even made conversation with a nice lady who was quick to mention that her fiancée had died two days before their wedding. It was uncomfortable but not unbearable. At about an hour in, the host mentioned that if anyone wanted to leave this was the appropriate time to do it. A heavy-set man in his forties immediately stood up and hurried towards the door. I was surprisingly offended by this, as I found it to be inexplicably rude. The "volunteers" slowly crowded around him and asked him why he was leaving. He said that he did not want to be brainwashed and defiantly walked out the door. The host then asked the rest of the room if they "wanted to be that guy"and leave.  There were incredulous mutters all around the room and the people seemed to be more determined to stay than ever before. I don't know why this struck me the wrong way but I then decided to stand up. The whole room was now staring right at me. My friend with the dead fiancée looked at me as if I had stuck a dagger in her stomach. I briefly considered mentioning the rape allegations that found out about their founder while doing very light Internet research. I thought about just sitting back down and seeing how much more I could take. I wondered if the first man who stood up was a plant, set there to deter other people from walking away and making a scene lest they too be ridiculed by the smart man in the suit. Maybe, I thought, I could reason with these people to get real treatment. Then again maybe this was as far as they were willing to go. The host asked me a multitude of questions as I was looking around the room at the people, each one more anxious and expecting than the next. I wondered, for a what seemed like an eternity, what the right thing to do was. I did not say a word. I simply walked away. 

My best friend from high school My best friend for a long time was this super-smart kid who was into chess and classical music. We routinely got the best standardized test grades in school while goofing off. Except my idea of goofing off was listening to Jimi Hendrix and drinking Scotch; his was taking amphetamines and reading Tolstoy. He use to stay up doing our homework while his mom worked the third shift at the ER. After a while we lost touch, until he called me out of nowhere two years ago. All his friends had turned on him and he refused to see his family. I went to see him at the mental health clinic, where he continually pissed off the staff by playing mind games with them. He was just as smart as ever, but he was also clearly damaged. He told me about pigs taking over his family's body and jumping dimensions. It was hard to see the smartest person I'd ever known in such a state. 
After visitor's hours were over I talked to his social worker. He told me that the doctor could not point out exactly what was wrong with him. He explained that it was most likely schizophrenia but that he played too many games with them to be sure. "Some sort of psychosis" was the only definitive thing he would declare. He then encouraged me to sign him out of the premises. He told me that I was the only one he responded to without scorn and that he wanted nothing to do with his family. The nest time I saw my friend I explained this to him and he was very excited. I told him I wanted him to come live with me but that i had some hesitations. He was not as excited after i told him that. The social worker called me afterwards and told me to make a decision. I thought about how my friend was not really the same person, I thought about any dangers I could be putting my pets, friends and family in. I asked the Social worker if my friend could ever be "cured" and if he was in any way dangerous. he told me I was the person that knew that answer better than anyone else, since he only opened up to me. He went to live with his family. I have not seen him in person since then. 

Sorry, if this post was a  downer this week.  Anyways... what are some of yours?


  1. tl; still read

  2. I am afraid to mention my most fitting example for fear that someone involved might see it. If anyone really wants to hear about it, DM me on twitter.