Brad Pitt: Literal Lady-and sometimes Man- Killer

Teacherman's "I'd Literally Hit That" got me thinking: It sucks to date Brad Pitt- in the movies at least.

*Movie spoilers galore*

Let’s start with his breakout role Thelma & Louise, (sorry 21 Jumpstreet Brad) Like most criminals, Brad starts out with small crimes

Sure he’s sexy and Geena Davis had a gooood time, but then he robs her while she recovers from her sex-stupor

How much was that orgasm Thelma (or is it Louise)?

Moving on to Kalifornia. Who would think dating a serial killer could possibly end with him killing you?

The (Un)Official Guide For Coping with July 16, 2011...and Beyond

A dark day is coming. No, not Jan 1, 2012, but one even closer: July 16, 2011. A day we all have been dreading. The day that we shall rue for all our lives.

I am, of course, talking about the day after the final Harry Potter movie comes out.

Step 1: See the movie again

• There’s a decent chance that you have missed some movie moments from all the cheering, crying or even blinking
• This does not cover bathroom breaks because who leaves the theatre to go to the bathroom during Harry Potter?!
• If needed, invest in a set of vision-boosters so you don’t miss a thing. Look how happy this fan is:

"I am so excited"

Step 2: Sing Your troubles away