MLIT: Vampire Film School 101

Say what you will about the original Twilight film. True, the pancake make-up is laughably bad (though it gets better as the film goes on, almost as if they were running out toward the end). True, a lot of misguided effort went into practical effects (like, say, a complex-looking treadmill system used to make the vampires move quickly in sequences that were ultimately shown in slow motion, WHOOPS). True, Robert Pattinson doesn't have a grip on his American accent yet. But in many ways, it's an admirably weird film, especially when you remember that it was hugely popular with pre-teens. Most films popular with that set are slick, glossy-looking artless things. Twilight (directed by Catherine Hardwicke) is scrappy and nervy. The color palate is almost entirely blue, green, and black (including, weirdly, a few sequences set in Arizona).

I'm particularly a fan of the (admittedly) corny scene in which Edward forces Bella to speak aloud her suspicions that he is a vampire. It's a popular one among the Twi-Hards because it's quotable. "How long have you been seventeen?" Bella asks. "A long time," Edward replies. Ha ha. But someone like me can get behind it too, because the editing is way bizarre, and kind of... awesome?

For comparison's sake, take a look at a sequence of shots from the sequel, New Moon (directed by Chris Weitz):

Paired over-the-shoulder shots, pushing in closer as we grow to the point: Bella is coming. FINALLY, am I right? But seriously, this is some textbook shit right here. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's prosaic, workman-like. It gets the job done, nothing more. Now, here's an actual sequence of shots from the original Twilight (some of the lines are omitted because they take place in the same shot):

Kind of great, right? We keep unexpectedly veering up into the air, cutting in super-close to Robert Pattinson's face, changing filters for basically no reason at all. Editing-wise, it's anarchy! And tween romances could use a little more anarchic editing. A bunch of dead French writers from Cahiers Du Cinema are smoking cigarettes in their graves, going "Impeccable! Bonne! Croissant!" and other French shit.

If you're interested in reading about the way Breaking Dawn explores, or rather cheats at exploring, the issue of abortion, go here.