LBT's Generic Book Corner: Atlas Shrugged

TL;DR

A Stupid Book to Never Read, by Super!

REALTALK: I read Christian fiction. Not all the time but enough to be a totally embarrassing point of interest.

More specifically, Christian romance novels. They mostly read like lighthearted lifetime movies about career gals who realize they secretly want to be married. Only also they pray about it, and the prayers are usually italicized.

My favorite author is Robin Jones Gunn. One time, I found a signed copy of one of her books at the friends of the library book sale. She had signed in orange glitter pen, which makes sense since these books are metaphorically written in glitter pen. $0.50. It made me tremendously happy and I couldn’t share it with anyone because then they’d know my secret shame. I also read Amish romance novels but that is a tale for another time.

So anyway I was poking around the religious books in a book store when I noticed a stack of some series that appeared to be about christian filmmakers or something. I couldn’t really tell because the back of the book was just a giant, marginless author photo.

So I bought it on abebooks and settled in to read it.

It turns out that book is INSANE and I literally threw it in the garbage rather than donate it.

The blurbs at the front of the book are incredibly grandiose statements about the life changing effects of reading these books. One woman says that this author should be in the bill of rights, which is a statement open to interpretation. Her name should be in it? All 40 of her novels should be in it?

It opens with page long letters to every member of her family and she has like 9 kids. Then, there's a section explaining something called “forever in fiction” which is where, for the price of $10,000 she will work the deceased person of your choice into one of her books as a memorial to them. 2 characters in this book are dead people who’s loved ones raised $10,000 so they could be in this stupid book!! I wish they hadn't told me that; it’s very creepy. Then the actual book is of course horrible. But not even fun horrible. The reason I buy Christian romance novels is because they are horrible in that abcfamilychannel “will this boy hold my hand?” kind of way. This is just THE WORST. Poorly written, nothing happens, and I can't separate the reading experience from the deeply unsettling knowledge that grief has lead people to throw away so much money on a piece of garbage. YOU CAN NEVER BE IN THE BILL OF RIGHTS KAREN KINGSBURY. LIKE THAT IS EVEN A THING. YOU CAN’T JUST PAY $10,000 TO BE IN WHATEVER DOCUMENT YOU WANT.

the brutalized housewife: part 2

And most notoriously, we have this. I personally don't feel remiss in suggesting that the entire Twilight series is an affront to women in general. The notion that a woman has to choose between two guys who are both on the constant verge of destroying her, that she should be completely submissive to her male counterparts and constantly demure, it's a very offensive idea, and even more so when you see how it is geared towards pre-teens. The last in the series, Breaking Dawn, was given the British Book Award for Children's Book of the Year! Which just goes to make what follows all the more disturbing.

the brutalized housewife: sexual violence in the american bestseller

I don't really read bestsellers. Not when they're at the top of the charts anyway. I find the majority of bestsellers are the 400th book by a celebrated author I've never read before or simply the book the latest film is based upon. Right now, the top sellers list is populated by such titles as Beastly, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, The Lincoln Lawyer, and Water for Elephants. However, the past couple of weeks saw me with the nation's 9th best selling novel The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. I didn't really know much about it aside from its massive popularity, and that there are Swedish adaptations to all three Stieg Larsson novels on Netflix Instant. So I decided to give it a shot.

LBT's Generic Book Corner: Jane Eyre

Rumor has it there is another movie version of Jane Eyre coming out (j/k, I have had this marked down in my Hello Kitty dayplanner for months!), so why not talk about it, I asked myself while hiding in the women's room at work and desperately brainstorming ways to put off unpleasant tasks (j/k again, I love my job (Hi Howie, the company computer guy! Your beard is awesome, but not as awesome as YOU!)). So, in other words: Stop! Jane Eyre time!

I have to be honest: I have the distinct feeling I have already discussed this book, but a brief search did not show any results. If so, you should still read this because I am still going to post it, and I do hope to be funny. People like funny, right? (wipes flopsweat)

LBT's Generic Book Corner: Scorch Atlas

"Little Bobby Tables," you might be exclaiming to yourselves right about now, "it has been so long! Where have you been? We assumed you had been crushed by a pile of old newspapers in your apartment!" You would be justified in that exclamation, too, as I have been a terrible Virgil to you all, my young Dantes. And no one feels more mildly distraught or hungry about this than I. No one.

LBT's Generic Book Corner: The Handmaid's Tale

So I have kindof wanted to bring up this book since I first had the idea to chat into the I-ether about books, because, and for once I am not being hyperbolic, it is in my view one of the most terrifying paranoia-inducing books I have read, ever, EVER, and I seek that shit out. If you peruse TVTROPES (do not peruse TVTROPES, as you will never escape), the terms Paranoia Fuel and High Octane Nightmare Fuel most definitely apply.

In short, at first I was:

LBT's Generic Book Corner: Nervous Conditions

Welcome friends, Romans, countrymen, and lend me your eyes (figuratively speaking - I love a good 'literally' as much as the next monster, but ew), for I have returned to discuss another book that I have read and liked (I have a feeling that if I ever discuss the books I have hated, it might be funnier, although less pleasant by my end). Today I want to bring to your attention Nervous Conditions by Tsitsi Dangarembga. I was assigned this book by a professor whom I hated with the fiery passion of a thousand suns, so I was prepared to hate it by association. But damn, the bastard can pick a book.

LBT's Generic Book Corner: Persuasion

Hello good friends and bitter enemies, and welcome to this week's edition of my little generic book corner, where I shall geek out over that marvelous maven of manuscript, Jane Austen.

As much as I love all of Austen's works (and I do, oh I do), I would like to focus on Persuasion, the perhaps more plain, shy, easily-overlooked sister to Pride and Prejudice, Emma, and Sense and Sensibility*.

*why yes, I am anthropomorphizing a book. If anything, it's too normal, amirite?

NERD ALERT!

a fangirl's perspective : fantasy novels


r. scott bakker's "prince of nothing" series is best read when you don't know what you're getting into. although there is a glossary in the back (as i discovered AFTER i finished the first book), the author doesn't ease you into the socio-political structure of the three seas. you are required to piece together the bureaucracy of inrithism, the customs of the scylvendi, the differences between the sorcerous schools. you get that an apocalypse is probably coming, that there's something dark and nasty in the north, but each time something fantastical finally reveals itself, it is shocking.

LBT's Generic Book Corner

Hello monsters, and welcome to my little corner of MOBFD! It took me quite some time to decide what to do. Luckily, I eventually remembered the adage, "write what you know," which narrowed the topics to books and The Golden Girls. As much as I would LOVE to liveblog rewatching the series, I figured books might have more widespread appeal. That is not to say, however, that I am not watching that zany Blanche as I type. I am only human, after all.