Because I spent two weeks travelling through Europe mostly talking to other Americans about Dave Matthew's Band about 11 years ago, I consider myself to be incredibly more worldly than the average bourgeois American. This worldliness enables me to know that in the non-American English speaking countries of the world (or "the problem" as I like to think of them) today is known as "Boxing Day." According to WikiLeaks Boxing Day has something to do with giving alms and charity, but to me Boxing Day is the day of the year, out of shear exhaustion and fatigue, you desperately want to pummel everything and everyone around you. "Boxing Day is about the sport boxing? Ahahaha, so funny! You totally just made that joke up! Brilliant, Kel" - No one ever, not even my own mother.
I am so tired I can barely see straight. I screamed at someone yesterday. I do not like having to feel like the kind of joyless dirtbag who would scream at a loved one on Christmas Day. I am happy to have just made it through to the easy side of the holiday season where all you have to do is return stuff to the Gap and drink champagne. You know what I need? I need me some funny videos! Warning - the second video below makes me cry with laughter but it's also more than a bit off-color.
Side note: I apologize deeply and profoundly for the quality of writing (the grammar and usage, not the content). This is what a public education in Texas buys you.
Bonus track! One of my favorite songs ever and if you want to make a joke about how it is date-rapey you can fuck right off.
Very nice, Kel! I love that Patton Oswalt bit too!
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