A Working Monster's Guide to Brief Procrastination

Like most great ideas, this one was born out of a conversation with ThisIsMyNightmare and LilBobbyTables in chat. We all work full time during the day and occasionally encounter work-related things we don't want to do. Here is a list of methods by which a working monster can procrastinate doing unpleasant work tasks while still looking productive:

• Check Videogum, but be sure to have your work email open in another window and ready to toggle (it is a good idea to have a half-written email open) in case of nosy coworkers. Read Videogum articles and comments with half-squinted eyes as though you are reading something work related. Sometimes roll your eyes. When commenting, be sure to keep an eye out. If someone walks behind you, toggle to the half-finished email you have open and pretend you have been writing that.
• Drink lots of water and pee a lot. This might not work if you work for one of those fascist companies that monitors bathroom hours, but for the rest of us it's a great way to step away from the desk for a moment and mutter cusses about coworkers under our breath while we're on the pot.
• Go on coffee runs at weird hours. Go at like 2:30 in the afternoon after you've already been on your lunch break. Make sure you offer to pick up coffee for your coworkers if they want any (but nobody will because it's the middle of the afternoon) so they don't get mad at you for leaving.

Here are some ideas for two minute breathers that you can do at your desk:

• Apply hand cream slowly and deliberately.
• Make a cup of hot cocoa, tea, emergen-c or something that requires more involvement than just water.
• Arrange loose papers into stacks on the desk.
• Refill the paper clip container, stapler or tape dispenser.
• Apply eye drops.
• Do some squats, crunches or push-ups (particularly good if you work in an office by yourself).
• Do neck, shoulder and arm stretches.
• Gossip with a coworker.

Do you have particular favorite time-wasters for work? They can be brief or extensive, at the desk or away. Whatever works for you!