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Saturday, February 26, 2011

GLAMOUR! with Kira! - Fashion Week Party Pics!

Oh, hello! Welcome to more GLAMOUR! with Kira! (Quickly, I want to apologize for how sloppy my posts are. I don't understand how html works, or spacing, or writing in English, or Blogger, so I'm kind of at a loss. No matter what I do, my posts never look the way I think they are going to, always mysteriously for the worse. My embarrassing lack of web savvy to the contrary, I am a smart, attractive adult lady with many mildly amusing witticisms to share with you, so please stick with me, okay?)

How are you? I'm fine! How was your New York Fashion Week? Very good, right? So busy! Everyone knows that Fashion Week is, like, THE busiest time of the year for literally everyone in the world. Everyone in Iowa City, Iowa is straight up EXHAUSTED afterwards. Also Ubud, Bali, Indonesia. They are just plumb tuckered out from all the hustle bustle of what is unarguably the most important time of year.
One thing that makes NYFW (we're abbreving it because we all know what I'm referring to, obvs) soooo exhausting is all the very glamorous parties, full of the coolest people, doing the funnest things. Because I'm a student of Glamour (working on my AA in Glamour Studies at University of Fanciness and Assorted Specialness), I checked out some photos of what are probably the very funnest parties, via Refinery29. Let's check them out together and observe how The Other Better More Lovable/Loved/Attractive/Wealthy Half live, shall we?
WHOA. If Miss Leelee Sobieski (very famous Helen Hunt impersonator and performer in such films as...I don't remember, but some films) is there, this MUST have been the place to be! Look at those tracers! That photographer must be trippin' glamorous ballz on those designer drugs we always hear so much about!
The Pellegrino was fucking FLOWING at this party. Look at the guy in the plaid coat in the right. He is all hopped up on expensive Italian seltzer water. He's peaking, Bro! And that Pellegrino dealer is all Smuggy Q. Smuggerson in the middle because he knows he has what the crowd is straight up clamoring for.
The lady standing in the banquette and pointing saucily is v. famous fashiony lady, Carine Roitfeld, who was the Editrix of Vogue Paris, or is or I don't know. She's a fancy lady. She is a very good example of how a lady can be French, rich and well-dressed and no one will even notice that she's actually kind of scary looking, like a ghoul. Enchante'! She's freaking out the grimacing dude in the lower right, which is understandable. Also, it's very rude to stand in your seats in the US, but maybe in France the rules are different. Bon!
This picture makes me sad. This was the last party this stylish, dynamic baby attended before being bundled off to rehab for the 3rd time in as many trimesters. Seriously, this kid is like THE Enfant Terrible of the New York fashion world. Such a tragedy. It really just chews up the talent and spits them out, doesn't it? This baby is high as shit right here. Heartbreaking.
Muppet carcasses, super hot for Spring '11. Part of the whole Toddler Deee-lite Cover Band thing that everyone is so hot for.
This is from the Die Antwoord/Sprockets party. (Wish that was a real party that I was invited to.) The theme was "Come dressed like you're in Griff's gang of bullies from Back To The Future 2."

This is Jeremy Scott. He designs clothes, I think. He is wearing a leather onesie, I think. Cool! Bet his crotch smells good! (Gross. Kira.)

Get out of my dreams, Handsome Intense Looking Fashion Guy, and into my car. (It's a Prius! It has seat warmers!)

Hahahahaha I can't stop laughing at this outfit! I start from the top and then by the time I make it to the bottom I am ready to start laughing at the top again! In New York this is v. fashiony, but round these parts that outfit is referred to as Laundry Day or Sexiest Woman At The Residential Hotel Downtown.

I haven't got strong feelings about Blake Lively in general, aside from agreeing that she is lovely. (Someone, somewhere MUST have made a Lovely Lively headline/joke, right? If not, what the hell is even going on with journalism?) One thing I think we can all agree to feel strongly about is how much of a bummer her outfit is and how much we hope she is telling the Marchesa ladies that it sucks. The outfit is kind of Big Bird's Barbarella fantasies meets Sharon Stone in "Casino." I'm trying to imagine who this looks glamorous on but I'm drawing a blank.

This is me at work at my new business, Nakey Cakey. J/Ks!! FASHION!

The people in the crocheted body suits are Mr. and Mrs. Obama. They're really into anarcho-fiber crafting, also super hip New York nightlife.

All hilarity aside (as if we could push aside this huge weight of hilarity!) this picture makes me so fucking annoyed. What is the point of this? I am not a jaded New York fashion person and even I find this completely stupid and whatever is the opposite of titillating. Look at the face of the lady in the top right. She's like, "Really? Cool. You look so stupid." The girl in the top left, on the other hand, is like, "You are SUCH a card!" She should shut up and stop encouraging him because that is fucking stupid.
So, there it was! The best of the pictures from the best parties during the best week of the year! Doesn't it make you so jealous, like you want to be there??? Me, neither. Snoooooze. Makes my feet hurt and my ears ring just looking at these pictures. Feel free to peruse the rest of the slide show at your leisure. There are plenty of other photos that further reinforce the impression that NYFW is really stupid and boring. Thanks to Refinery57 or whatever they are called for living through so that we didn't have to. You know what's super hot for Spring 2011 in my house? Polar fleece pajamas. White hot.
Hope you have a lovely, luxurious, maribou-trimmed, time until we meet again, my little discarded gift bags.


  1. "I am not a jaded New York fashion person and even I find this completely stupid and whatever is the opposite of titillating." It's dickillating.

  2. I'm just mad that they stole the ice penis funnel idea from the chicago monsters.