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Thursday, March 3, 2011

Taking One for the TV: Teen Mom 2 - Episode 8

Just like all of you, I love great TV shows like Lost, Mad Men, Community, etc., but I also love some really bad shit. In this column, I am going to recap some of the best of the worst.

Today, I am spotlighting Teen Mom 2. Now, I know we are coming into this stuff mid-season, so I will try to give you a little background!

Jenelle's bitchy, baby-talking mom has custody of Jenelle's son Jace. By the baby's name, you can tell where this is going. Jenelle's baby daddy is in jail. For drugs maybe? But she is dating a new guy, Kieffer, who is SUCH A BUM. She lives with Kieffer at his friend's house and they are looking for an apartment together. Kieffer is "looking" for a job with no success, and they only have a week left at the friend's place. Jenelle hatches a brilliant plan to ask her mom to stay there.

Jenelle goes to talk to her mom, and her mom tells her "it's been really peaceful in the house since you're not here." LOLz! Well, Mom budges and let's bum boy and Jenelle move back in, but she doesn't want to hear any ruckus! Mom tells the two bums that she ain't gonna take no shit, so behave! Then we get a nice little montage of what mom won't allow: don't let the baby fall, no puffs, no rough-housing! Jenelle gets to play mom to her baby while Mom goes to the store, but bad news...they spill Jace's milk on the couch, and Mom goes N-U-T-S! Mom isn't sure Jenelle can keep staying there. WHAT?! Don't cry over spilled milk, amirite?!

Jenelle and Kieffer "need to take the edge off" so they smoke weed on Mom's front porch and Mom flips the fuck out. This time for good reason. Kieffer starts back-talking mom, and now Jenelle is leaving Mom and Jace again. Jenelle tells Mom that Kieffer is not a loser, and the two of them will be laughing all the way to the bank once he gets a job at 7-11 and she finishes community college.

Kieffer tells Jenelle she can go back to her Mom's and leave him to find a place to stay. She doesn't want to do that because that means he will never come back. SPOILER ALERT: ABANDONMENT ISSUES!

Kailyn lives at her ex-boyfriend/baby daddy Jo's house with him and his parents. She is trying to move out so she works two jobs and goes to school while caring for baby Issac. She works with a dude name Jordan and she is going out with him.

Jo's mom, Janet, has a sit down awkward heart-to-heart with Kailyn. Janet is really great and means well, and she wants the kids to work things out, but this conversation is just weird. Janet tells Kailyn as long as Kailyn lives with them she can't date anyone.

Despite Janet's warnings, Kailyn goes on a rock climbing date with Jordan. The producers set up a nice little area in the break room at the rock climbing place for Jordan and Kailyn to talk uncomfortably about what's been going on in her life, in case we haven't been watching the show. NEAT!

Kailyn goes to hang out with a friend. Issac gets a little fussy and the girl looks annoyed and says, "Does he always get like this in public places?" BITCH, HE'S A BABY!!!!!!!!!

Leah has twin girls, Ali and Aleeah. She just got engaged to her baby daddy Corey who loves her to pieces. They were on the fritz for awhile because Leah cheated on him while she was preggers with an ex-boyfriend. Also, they were only dating a month when she found out that she was pregnant. Now things are great between them, but one of their babies is having developmental issues. It is totes sad. Ali needs an MRI to find out what is causing the issues. Leah is freaking out about going to the appointment, and rightfully so.

Leah and Corey take a break from freaking out and go look at a wedding venue. They are the two cutest country hicks in love that I have ever seen!

Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea. She seems like a great girl, but she is sooooooooooooooo naive. She lives in one her dad's rental houses with her baby Aubree and the baby daddy Adam. Adam is bad news bears if there ever was a bad news bears. On 16 & Pregnant, after Chelsea had her baby, Adam sent her a text message saying something like: You're a fat cow, tell me where I need to sign so I can get rid of this mistake [the baby, duh!]. Total jerk. Anyway, I guess he heard Chelsea has a regular show now, so he wormed his way back into her life, and little Chelsea loves the abuse, so she took him back. He is now living rent-free at Chelsea's apartment and has even run off Chelsea's BFF and roommate. Chelsea's dad is not happy about this, and he wants Adam to get a job if he is going to stick around.

Adam fills out a few job applications, and low and behold, he doesn't get a job. Chelsea tries to talk to him about the job hunt and he is a douche, and then he goes to sleep. Chelsea is really nervous about Adam cheating on her if he gets a job at restaurant. Not because he is a bad guy and has cheated on her before, but because he will be working at a restaurant?

Chelsea and Adam get in a fight about trust issues, and Adam is a flippant jerk about it. Oh, Chelsea, just dump this dude. He is no good bro.

Here is the whole episode if my recap is making you want more:

See you next week for another Teen Mom 2 recap AND a 90210 recap!


  1. I watch this! But only talk about it with my sister as I am somewhat embarrassed to do so. I also thought Jo's parents were great judging from Kailyn's 16 and pregnant episode but have liked them less over time. I think it is seriously creepy to tell someone that in order to have a home they cannot date anyone other than their son even though I am sure that is not a condition of their son staying there.

  2. Yeah, his parents have been really supportive of her, but I think she better get out soon, b/c once they find out she's dating, shit is going to hit the fan.

  3. principal enchmanMarch 3, 2011 at 11:13 PM

    This. Is. Amazing. And I'm not just saying this because we're total bros, but if Gabe were to ever leave Videogum I could think of no one better to take his place. You are TOO funny.

  4. Holy crap, this show sounds like a pile. Thanks for the write-up (AWESOME!), but if you ever come to Atlanta and try to make me watch this crap, murder.

  5. Nice work!

    Dictated but not read,