Dear Mountie Inaugural Post!

Well, here it is folks. The very first edition of the "Dear Mountie" advice column. Today we have someone who is overly concerned with being out-of-doors in winter time, and a shy young fellow who probably gets flirted with all of the time and doesn't even know it (it's okay--most guys don't).

Where do you get your ide...just kidding. Question: do you think all this Monstering is a healthy usage of our time? It's kind of weird and kind of wonderful but shouldn't we all be going outside or something?

Much like our collective personal hero, Gwyneth Paltrow, I believe it's all about balance....and now that I'm done vomiting, here's my answer.

As long as you are deriving pleasure from something and that thing is not causing problems in your life or negatively impacting your well-being, then don't worry about it. So often we worry about what we "should" do instead of just listening to ourselves and following what that inner voice tells us. All of this dithering about "shoulds" just makes us more unhappy.

Also, it's wintertime! What the hell else are we gonna do?

I have problem talking to girls I don't know (even though I'm in my twenties). Last week a very hot leggy blonde sat in front of me in the train. We smiled at each other. But after a while I just played with my phone until I got to my stop. Advice?


I'm guessing that there's something you're telling yourself that's inhibiting you. You may not even realize what it is you're saying (in psychology they call it "self talk", but I sort of hate that term, for some reason), but it's there. It might be that you feel like you're not smart enough, funny enough, attractive enough, clever enough, etc. Or, you might think that there's no way any girl would ever like you and so there's no point in even trying to talk to them. My point is, there is something that you feel you're lacking that constricts your ability to connect with the opposite sex.

So my suggestion is this: write down those things you feel like you're lacking. Try to think of every single thing you tell yourself about connecting with girls. Then in another column, answer those criticisms with a reality-based statement. For example, you might write in the first column, "I'm not smart enough for girls to like me". In the second column, you would then answer "I know a lot about a variety of topics, and once I start talking to someone I find it easy to use that knowledge." The example is cheesy, I know, but keep in mind that no one will see this but you, so who cares? The whole point of the exercise is to look at what you're telling yourself and then see if those statements are based in reality. I will bet you $1,000,000,000,000 that they're not.

The last part of this exercise is to keep the list with you and re-read it often, so that when your mind starts saying negative things about yourself, you can answer those statements with those you came up with in the second column (reality-based statements). After a while, the positive statements will take the place of the negative ones, and you'll find that you're better able to connect with girls.

This also works if the thought of talking to girls makes you anxious. Think about what's giving you anxiety (fear of tripping over your words? afraid a joke will fall flat?), then write down those worries. You can then "answer" them in the second column (such as, "So what if I trip over a few words? It's literally not the end of the world").

So there ya have it folks. Best advice ever, right? I know. Don't you want to get some for yourself? Here's how!

Email me at: mtnsbeyondmtns73@gmail.com or go to: formspring.me/mtnsbeyondmtns